Things We Can't Say in Front of the Children

Yesterday The Hillbilly wrote a post in which he got a little . . .ummm. . . personal regarding. . . well . . . "a schoolmarm's leg." As we kind of expected, our adult children didn't take it well. Alyssa even made a statement in the comment section:

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This has been going on since we first got married. Eldest daughter, April,  told her dad at the reception, "That was the longest wedding kiss I've ever seen." No. It wasn't.

About a week after that, we were having Christmas dinner at The Hillbilly's sister's house. Apparently some appliance was overheating, and we were all in the kitchen trying to figure out what was going on. His sister wasn't sure what the problem was, just that it suddenly "smelled hot." The Hillbilly looked at me and asked, "Do I smell hot?" And I answered, "No, but you are." And eldest son, Jerod, said, "Okay, I have to leave the room now."

In our defense we were newlyweds, remember.

Another time I was explaining to someone that the Hillbilly always tells me that I'm his main squeeze, and I always tell him I'm his only squeeze. Alyssa happened to overhear that. "Eww, Mom. Too much information!"  Seriously?

So we try not to let the adult children hear "too much information." For instance, I'm sure they don't want to know that the Hillbilly likes my "cute, little, round, twitchy butt."

It's not like he actually pats me on the fanny . . .  when they're looking. Very often.

Of course, it's not just things we say. They don't approve of me sitting on The Hillbilly's lap either. Younger son, Ben, was especially perturbed to find me on his lap shortly after I had had surgery because he didn't think I "should be climbing up there."

The Hillbilly likes to point out that we have a license.

So, what do you and your spouse do or say that makes your children roll their eyes and leave the room?