Wicked English Teacher Wednesday: July 4th edition

My, my! The Internet has been keeping the Wicked English Teacher busy (and annoyed) this month. Perhaps you thought that I would be putting away my red pen for the summer, but that's not going to happen. Well, truthfully, I don't literally use red pen when correcting the Internet because it always messes up my computer screen...but that's not the point. The point is that it's time for another trip around the Internet with our figurative red pens to make corrections. 

Remember it's not my goal to be mean here. It's my goal to keep you from looking stupid in print. How could that be mean? So here we go.

This month we have a number of examples from bloggers who clearly didn't read my recent post on apostrophe abuse. If you're not going to read my posts, you run the very real risk of falling to the wrath of the Wicked  English Teacher. I mean, come on! Here I am sharing all this knowledge, and you're not even reading it? You get what you deserve.

This person was unsure about whether or not to use the apostrophe in the word ones, so she hedged her bets and gave us one of each:

On my own site, I have what most people would consider too many plugins. But I have tested, deleted, installed new ones and found the one’s that do the job without sacrificing speed.

 Had this blogger read my post, she would have known that we never form the plural by adding an apostrophe. Just throw in that S and keep going.

Another blogger who failed to do her reading (Consider it your summer reading list, people!) wrote this:

I decided to space out 3 different canvas' but as one continuous painting.

Huh? Why in the world would we pluralize a word by just throwing an apostrophe at it? This is NOT the function of the apostrophe, kids! Just as we do with any other word ending in S, we form of the plural of canvas by adding ES: canvases. 

Yet another blogger, who was hosting a giveaway, wrote this:

Just wait for the Rafflecopter to load below, then complete the entries. Once you’ve completed the mandatory entry's, you will unlock the optional entries.

She has used the same word three times and spelled it two different ways: entries or entry's. In all three cases, the word is the plural of entry: entries.

In the same fashion, another blogger used an apostrophe to form a plural rather than changing the Y to an I and adding ES. 

Perfect for those baby's that like a little music with their starry night sky!!

Come on, y'all!  That's first grade stuff! Change Y to I and add ES.

Now here's a blogger who does the exact opposite; he leaves out apostrophes where he needs them. This one really startled me because this comes from a well-known writer who shares tips for improving one's blog. 

Once you’ve got your blogs elevator pitch there’s no limit to the places and situations that you can use it (either part of it or in its entirety). Here are a few that come to mind:

• Your blogs tag line

 Both times the word blogs is used here it needs an apostrophe to show possession. He is talking about the elevator pitch and the tag line that belong to your blog. Therefore he should say, "your blog's elevator pitch," and, "your blog's tag line."

Well, those are about half of the errors I made note of this month. I decided to concentrate on the apostrophe errors this time. We may need an auxiliary Wicked English Teacher Wednesday this month!

Finally, let me share this card my mom received for her birthday:

This card should say, "Well, really you're a queen every day."When we mean to say that something occurs each day, we use two words: every day. If we want to differentiate between special things and ordinary things, we use one word: everyday. 

We use our everyday dishes every day. 

There you go! I hope someone learned something from the Wicked English Teacher this month. Now go have a fabulous July!

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