Spending Time with The Princess

The Princess is my oldest granddaughter. She's five, and she knows everything. Just ask her. I've kept track over the years of some of the conversations with The Princess that my daughter has posted to her Facebook page. Welcome to Conversations with The Princess:

The Princess

Why is she called The Princess? Well, there's this message she left while playing with the memo feature on Mommy's phone: . "Hi mom. I want to be a princess when I grow up because I loooove princesses. And you and me can be friends when I'm grown up and I'm being a princess, ok? I love you! Bye bye!"
 
 And she's got the royal third person down pretty well. On her birthday, her daddy stopped for gas and got drinks for Mommy and Daddy, but nothing for The Princess. She was silent for about 5 minutes before finally saying, "Daddy...when you don't get me something from the gas station, you RUIN somebody's birthday." 

"We are not amused."

As I said, she knows everything. So she tells her mommy what's what. You can't pull anything on her!
‎"I don't like real live dragons." 
"There's no such thing. Dragons are just pretend."
"No. Remember when you said there's real live princesses?" 
"Yes. There are real princesses, but not dragons." 
"Yes there are. Dragons live in castles with princesses. So if there's real live princesses, there's real live dragons." 
 
Every time Mommy tells The Princess she can't have something (candy, sugary cereal) because it's a special treat and we don't eat it every day, her response is, "Today is NOT every day." Her logic is sound. 

When Mommy was expecting The Princess's little brother, The Monster, she was sorting the new baby clothes and getting them ready. The Princess was  holding all the outfits up to Mommy's belly and saying, "Aww, he looks so cute it this!"

 This report in from  my daughter: Grocery shopping, The Princess wants some kind of marshmallow cocoa puff cereal.  I tell her no, choose Frosted Mini Wheats or Raisin Bran.  She throws her head back and proclaims, very loudly and with drama and body language, a whole performance…”ALL MY DREAMS HAVE BEEN SHATTERED.”  Oh man.  Whose kid is this?  LOL.  There was a little old lady right next to us and she cracked up laughing.  I think we pretty much made her day.  

So The Princess is crying, and Mommy asks, ‎"What are you crying about?" "I hurt my feelings!" "you hurt your own feelings? How did you do that?" "I don't know how I did that." "Maybe you should be nicer to yourself." "(sniff)...sorry, Princess." Problem solved.  

Heard from the bathroom: "Oh no. Mom! I used waaaay too much toilet paper and STUFFED it all in the toilet and then I tried to flush flush flush and it won't go down" ...fluuuush... "AAAAH!!! MOM!!!!! the water is coming OUT!!!!" Shrieks of real terror....finally she comes running out with her pants around her ankles chanting under her breath "This is so wrong....This is sooooo wrong...." 

You know, there's just no way to follow that one up. So...welcome to life with The Princess. Let  me know which Princess-ism you like the best.