Today’s English Class Pop Quiz: How many words in the English
language end in f-u-l-l? (Answer at the end of this post)
Okay, class. Here are some
sentences found around the web today. Let’s analyze them to identify the errors
they contain.
“It
feels me with rage.” Unfortunately, while
this sentence evokes some extremely interesting mental images, the writer was
not discussing tactile contact with an infuriated gender-neutral…something.
Kids, one’s emotions are feelings. One has fillings in one’s teeth. You feel
frustration and anxiety. You fill
your tummy with chocolate, especially on rally days when your students come to
school dripping with glitter, wearing tutus (yes, even the boys), and acting
like they’re already at the rally ALL. DAY. LONG!! Then you fill your tummy with lots and lots of
chocolate and take many slow deep breaths and even then….Okay…sorry. Back to the lesson.
“…but
it will pass though.” Class,
today’s new word is “redundancy.” Let’s look at the first and last words of
this excerpt. “But” is a word used to
show contrast, whereas “though” is….a word used to show contrast. “Redundancy”
is a word used to identify unnecessary repetition. Now one might think that “Class, open your books to page 95….Johnny,
we’re on page 95…Roxanne, we’re in the brown book on page 95…Girls, put your
hairbrushes away and turn to page 95…Angel, pick your head up off your desk and
turn to page 95..” would be an
example of redundancy. Notice however that the definition of redundancy is
UNNECESSARY repetition. Believe me when I tell you that all of that repetition
is absolutely necessary. Every. Single. Day.
“Mango wood can take a beating and
retain it's beauty.” Ok, since
we’re talking about the beauty possessed by the wood, we do not want to use an
apostrophe in its. Its without an apostrophe is a
possessive pronoun, just like his, hers, and ours. It’s with the apostrophe is a contraction for it is, as in, “It’s too noisy in this classroom. It’s not too late for me send you to the
principal’s office. It’s not okay to pass notes during the spelling test. It’s
about time for me to fill my tummy
with some chocolate. Lots and lots of chocolate!”
Ok. Class dismissed. Where did I put that candy bar?
Pop Quiz Answer:
Exactly one. Only the word full ends
in f-u-l-l. All those other words, such as wonderful,
beautiful, spoonful, shameful, etc.
end in one L.
I'm really glad I'm not an English teacher. I've been taking my writing class for a few weeks now and anytime I read something I can't help but notice all the errors! It feels me with rage to see all of these errors from "professionals." I think I'd go crazy if it was my job. :-)
ReplyDeleteOh my, love this. And forgive me for all the typos on my blog. I am not as bad as I appear to be. Lot of it is because my spell check disagrees with me.
ReplyDelete@momnextdoor It's impossible for me to completely shut down the English teacher part of me. I have learned to keep it from "feeling me with rage." :-)
ReplyDelete@Stash I'll forgive your typos if you'll promise not to laugh at my attempts at photography. Of course, polite constructive criticism is welcome.
Brilliant! Things like this make me miss teaching, and then remember why I don't miss teaching, and then eat chocolate! XO
ReplyDelete@SCW I'm not sure teaching would be possible without chocolate. Welcome to my blog!
ReplyDeleteAAAAARRRGG! I HATE this! You knew I would! The only thing I hate worse than bad spelleeng , grammmmer and the like iz people pointing it out in otherz!AAAARgggg! Where's my chocolate!?
ReplyDeleteBut, Chris, if I didn't point it out, how would they fix it? It MUST be fixed!
ReplyDelete